It's More Than Just Good Manners

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I have learned that being thankful can make a world of difference in how I live my life.

I heard from one of my mom's friends that she had recently put into practice what Joel Osteen wrote about in one of his many books. That was, to be thankful to God in every season of life, of every part of the day. After I heard her talk about what she had learned, I unconsciously decided to put this into practice as well. I began to thank God for the most random things. I don't remember what exactly, but it probably started out like, "God, thank You for providing money for this gluten free bagel. It's delicious." (The members of my family are health nuts btw). Once I started thanking Him for the little things in my life (even though they sound insignificant), it became clear to me that I didn't even take the time to thank God about the bigger things in my life, the things that I have gotten so used to having. It may sound oxymoronic, but the more substantial things such as being able to live in a house & having the opportunity to go to a university to further my education, I kind of... forgot about. I was so used to living in the house that I live in & going to the school that I go to, that I didn't stop to thank God for these things, even though they should technically be the ones that I am most thankful for.  

Throughout that week, as I began to thank God for the most minuscule things as well as the most sizable ones, I noticed a change in my disposition; I had slowly but surely been noticing myself becoming happier. I discovered that thankfulness changes your attitude about life & everything around you for the better. It's more than a verbal response to someone after they held the door open for you. 

Ever since I chose to become a Christian as a young girl, I had experienced ups & downs like nobody's business. In middle school, there was a death in the family. After that happened, I basically lost my faith & belief that God was who He said He was. It sounds pretty drastic, but my family & I were believing for healing, so when that didn't happen, I was a confused kid. I couldn't understand why He would let something like that happen. But the thing is, I don't really have to know why God does the things He does or chooses not to do some things. There are millions of things that I don't understand nor want to understand (i.e. quantum physics), so I try to let God do all the planning. Obviously, I am not perfect, & I don't have a lot of patience. Giving God complete control has been a struggle. However, everything my family & I have been through has led to a deeper & more personal relationship with God. He taught me that everything works out for His good. I wouldn't wish what I had gone through on my worst enemy, but I have had to keep reminding myself that God knows what He's doing. Through all of the mess, it made me realize that He was a big enough god to handle it all. He doesn't need me to be a perfect Christian where all we talk about is how much I love Him, He wants to know me on a personal level. He wants to know ALL of us on a personal level, & He wants it to be out of love, not out of obligation. 

God actually wants to know me for me & you for you. For that reason, I am thankful. 

Reagan Fleming

Funny Stuff, Am I Right?

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Thinking of a topic to write about can be challenging at times. Some days it just comes naturally, and other days I sit at my desk and force myself to type. Today - with all of my homework and daily stress of college life - I am enduring the latter. 

“It’s a great lesson about not being too precious about your writing. You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go. You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it...You have to let people see what you wrote.”
— Tina Fey, Bossypants

Tina Fey is a comedic actress, but I would say that she is first and foremost a writer.

She has written sketches, a wonderful book, and also co-wrote 30 Rock when it came into being. (PS, that is my favorite show). As far as her book goes, I have never laughed so hard at a book before in my life. I actually listened to it in the audiobook format while driving to and from class. But hey, I loved hearing Fey narrate every chapter, because it made you feel as if you were having a face-to-face conversation with the woman behind Liz Lemon in 30 Rock. 

[I just imagined having a cup of coffee with Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Steve Carell. Oh, the absurdity of their jokes would be unreal. And just the best thing ever. That is all.]

The quote above from Fey can apply to both humor and writing; you can't overthink things. By doing so in the form of her quick wit, she is one of the most genius comedians of today. Through her book and how she portrays her character Liz Lemon, you can tell that she has a dry sense of humor, sort of like myself. *pat on the back* That is mostly why I listened to Fey's audiobook in the first place, honestly. Tina has a dry sense of humor, but that's the point: that's what she thinks is funny, and she goes with it. I just happen to be one of her many fans. 

The main thing that I took away from her book is that comedic timing is everything. But if the timing isn't working out, learn to laugh at yourself.

I have also discovered this through my own failed attempts at trying to be humorous. When I tell jokes (most of which I make up on the spot because I love terrible puns), I have a habit of completely butchering the end; I either a) take an extensive amount of time in trying to tell the joke to the point that the audience doesn’t remember what the set-up of the joke was, or b) I completely forget the ending altogether. Both options cause awkwardness and/or embarrassment on my part. I am known among my friend group as the giver of awful jokes, which is a blessing and a curse. I manage to brighten their day by either making them genuinely laugh, or by turning the laughter around to me as the teller of the jokes.

Here is some evidence:   

    - Me: So, what did the Eagle Scout say to the new Boy Scout? 

    - Person: What?…

    - Me: Can you knot? 

    *wait for laughter*

    (Depending on how long I wait for a reaction, I explain the joke further until they say something like, "Ahh. I get it.") Although, that is not the most desired result.

At some point in your life, you will probably be able to look back at your failed attempts at trying to be funny, and realize that the effort that you put into it or the result that you didn't plan on was even more funny than the joke itself. You have to learn to laugh at yourself. For years I wasn't able to do this, and whenever I did something stupid (such as my voice cracking, me tripping, slipping, falling, or having minor wardrobe malfunctions) I would get extremely embarrassed to the point where I would either cry about it later, or just get angry at the person laughing at me. Thankfully, this only lasted until middle school or so. (Other than the time I slipped on ice and smacked my head on the hard ground. I obviously cried after I knew what hit me, but in this instance it was permissible.) The fact is, if you're too serious about things in life, you'll never fully enjoy it. Like Fey said: "You can't be the kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it." You need to live life and some days you'll be embarrassed about things, or people will laugh at you when you don't want them to. But that's life. And if you don't learn to laugh at yourself, then life won't be as enjoyable as it could be.

Everything is a learning experience as I like to say, even when it comes to telling jokes or writing a book. You need to know who your audience is, and what they actually want to hear. However, you can't please everyone. At some point you just need to write what you want or tell the jokes that you think are funny, and some people may like it while others may not. But if you think about it, it would be a pretty mundane world if everyone liked everyone's works. There would be no reason to write different genres of books or come up with different types of jokes, because everyone would have the same sense of humor. We would all just be people with no distinction from one another. If you think about it in this way, it makes you (or should make you) want to improve your writing and joke-telling skills. It also proves that everyone has different tastes.   

Reagan Fleming

Be Present

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There are times in our lives where we want to stop and take a picture or record a video to document certain moments. The saying, "Take a picture, it'll last longer" may technically be true, but lately, the only reason people choose to log their memories is to be able to say: "I was there!" I'm not talking about your wedding day or something else that is equally memorable. I mean, if you didn't have a photographer at your wedding, you may need to ask yourself some serious questions. 

In this day and age, it seems as though everyone whips out their phones or cameras anytime something funny or exciting happens. I have been guilty of doing this as well, don't get me wrong. My over-documenting usually took place at one general location: a concert venue. 

If you know me at all, you'd know that my favorite thing to do in the entire world is to go to a concert. I have always loved listening to music, dancing to it even though I know I'm a terrible dancer, and most of all: listening to a band's live performance. At a concert, you're a part of a large group that is there for the same reasons as you: to listen to a band and appreciate their music. This is why being at a concert, surrounded by music and other music-lovers, is one of my favorite places to be. 

I have something to get off my chest: I am a Jonas Brothers fan. Always have, always will be. (Yes, I'm 20 years old, why do you ask?) The first time I saw them live - yes, I am implying that there have been multiple occurrences - I was in middle school. I brought my little digital camera to record some songs and take pictures of the Jonas clan. For most of the performance, I was busy looking through the camera screen instead of paying attention to the actual performers, because I didn't want to record the back of someone's head by accident. The solution sounds simple: lose the camera. But as a die-hard Jonas fan, having physical proof that I saw them in concert was vitally important. The videos and pictures did turn out well, but the only problem was - even though memory card said that I was at the concert the entire time - I wasn't able to recall what the concert was actually like. My ears were ringing after the speakers stopped producing music, but I was too involved in the recording process that I wasn't really there. However, I do remember thinking that a backup singer was actually Demi Lovato for an embarrassingly long time. That was a letdown.

After the concert, I came to this realization: some of the moments you want to remember the most, you don't need to document at all or as much as you think. It sounds like an oxymoron, but hear me out: When you feel the need to document every single thing that you do, it's easy to get wrapped up in thinking, "What should I caption this when I post it online?" and not truly be present in what you're doing. Instead, be selective in what you choose to share online with others, and keep a mental note of how often you pick up your picture-taking device.

Two summers ago, I saw OneRepublic and The Script live, and I decided beforehand to do the exact opposite of what I usually do at at concerts. I didn't watch the bands from behind my phone the entire time - I was just at the concert, appreciating the time I spent with my friends, and enthralled by the music. Yes, I recorded a few performances, but they were of my favorite songs. Even now, I still remember that I danced to almost every song played, Danny O'Donoghue (The Script's main singer) called an audience member's ex on the phone and sang to him, and most of all, I remember how their songs made me feel: exceptionally happy and carefree for reasons I don't even know how to explain. 

I have since applied this knowledge to outings with my friends, time spent with my family, etc. I don't look for photoshoot opportunities anymore, I just enjoy being with people that I love, not worrying if what I'm doing is Instagram-worthy. If I want to take a picture and post it, great. But if I don't, that doesn't mean that the moment will not be remembered. 

And looking back, these moments (those I don't have pictures of or only have a few) have been some of the most significant times in my life. 

Reagan Fleming